User blog:Hermione Chase/Shitty Little Country Things

'''WARNING: This blog is intended to be funny. So if you're patriotic as hell and couldn't live to see your country criticized, get off.'''

Nobody is perfect. We all know the saying. But as I will demonstrate here, there isn't anything that's perfect either. The countries of the world certainly aren't perfect. In today's blog, I will be examining how imperfect the countries are. Some will be in regards to the government, to its citizens, to its geographic location and so on. See if your country is here!

United States

Okay, we all know why this country sucks. They are the Nosy Nelly of the world. They have to assert their power into everyone else's business. The US is also quite infamous among its residents for the corruption in the government. Racism is atrociously prevalent.

England

It rains all of the freakin' time and they drive on the left side (why).

Canada

They drink milk out of bags what the hell

Mexico

CARTELS

Colombia

A LOT MORE CARTELS (crime is a serious issue there)

Costa Rica

No military. This can be viewed as a good thing, but if Costa Rica ever suddenly develops an enemy and gets attack, they are really going to regret that choice.

Bahamas

Most people know Bahamas for that gorgeous hotel, but the rest of the island is dirt poor af

Brazil

Many divorces in Brazil have been cited for the grounds of fraud, in America terms. Why? Well, let's just say the wives chose to bring up their biologic gender some time in the middle of the marriage...

Argentina

After Argentina lost the World Cup, they have enough to be embarrassed for.

Cuba

Cuba is currently a communist country, which means a lot of human rights violations. That includes torture, censorship and more.

Haiti

That earthquake basically shattered Haiti. Not that it was doing much well before.

Norway

I'm not very knowledgeable of Norway, if I'm being honest. But rumor has it they have 6 months of sunlight, 6 months of darkness. And if that's true... good luck for when it strikes July.

Sweden

Swedish Hip-Hop is some shit. Also, there's nothing there.

Finland

There's nothing in Finland either. Really. Nothing.

Iceland

Iceland's most populated city has 121,000 people, which as it is is not much. To top it off, its second most populated city has 32,000 people. I'm pretty sure if you drive too far off either city, you'll end up in the middle of nowhere.

Ireland

Drunks. Everywhere.

Scotland

An overwhelming amount of men in skirts (they're not cute skirts either)

Spain

Shortest guys in the world. Avoid this country, ladies.

France

Their lack of freedom of religious expression is masked by their claim of secularism. Also, they smoke cigarettes... a lot.

Netherlands

Netherlands is very free and liberal. In fact, so liberal, their government (well, just look up Geert Wilders) hates Islam.

Germany

Well-known for having the shittiest history in the world that includes genocide! Invasion! And a very very very scary-sounding language.

Italy

High death rate. If everyone around you drops dead, don't be surprised.

Poland

Poland is... weak. 'Nuf said.

Ukraine

Ukraine became a hot-topic in 2014. They were in a big fight with Russia, which none of the countries would do.

Turkey

Committed mass genocide against the Armenians that they now deny existed. Yay for Turkey!

Georgia

Question: What's the difference between Russia and Georgia? Answer: Nothing.

Armenia

Were the subject to mass genocide from the Turkish. They pretty much hate Turks now.

Azerbaijan

I'm sorry, but that name is awful.

Russia

Russia may be a capitalist today, but we all know they're communist at heart.

China

Populated by over one BILLION people and they also have an awful&mdash;so bad people carry masks. They're also a communist&mdash;albeit a more relaxed version&mdash;state and have government sanctioned torture and wide use of censorship.

North Korea

Communist country also ran by a psycho. They have probably the worst human rights atrocities committed in the world and are well-known for threatening to nuke the US and South Korea for the dumbest reasons (see:South Korea).

South Korea

South Korea's biggest enemy is North Korea and I bet that many South Koreans are worried about an invasion or a possible nuclear attack. Then again, North Korea also threatened to nuke them for having a Christmas tree.

Japan

Okay, this may just apply to me, but Japanese entertainment is, errrr... weird. J-Pop really scares me and frankly, so do their commercials.

Philippines

I'm not very knowledgeable of Philippines, but I'm putting it up here due to popular demand. Anyway, if I remembered correctly, the Philippines was the subject to an unfortunate genocide. And also Manny Pacquiao

Indonesia

Their entire country hits the equator, JESUS. Also, terrorism is becoming somewhat prevalent, particularly by ISIL subgroups.

Australia

Currently headed by Tony Abbott, a member of the Liberal party in Australia, AKA the Republ(osers)icans of 'murica. The only Labour(/democrat) state in Australia is Western Australia, which might seccess!

Bangladesh

Bangladesh secessed from Pakistan about 40 years ago. Today, they face some strained relationships with Pakistan and India.

Greece Basically, America screwed them over in debt.

Myanmar (Burma)

There's a current genocide going against Burmese Muslims, so uh, hurray for freedom of religion!

India They've had this ancient caste system that still haunts people today. Also, poverty.

Pakistan Taliban. 'nuff said. Also, India and Bangladesh aren't the best of pals with Pakistan.

Afghanistan Got rocked by an invasion 36 years ago that resulted in an extremely impoverished, anarchist society which then resulted in a terrorist group temporarily taking control of the country. Hurray for democracy!

Uzbekistan Uzbekistan is so outdated, they still have slavery... yet for some reason no one seems to care?

Iran They've developed a nuclear bomb fetish. Yikes!

Iraq America invaded Iraq because they thought Iraq had WMDs (when it was really the neighbor. see:Iran ). Turns out, they had oil so America jacked that and got out. Now they have a terrorist group terrorizing half the population.

Syria Syria followed the footsteps of other Arab countries that were protesting in the government... only Syria's government started bombing their people. And now Syria is being terrorized by the same terrorists terrorizing Iraq and they're having a refugee crisis.

Lebanon Lebanon's Muslim and Christian population have a mild civil war going on and the country's archnemesis, Israel, is right next to them.

Israel Israel's creation is great and all for the Jewish people, but it was actually an example of Columbusing*.

Palestine Poor Palestine's land was taken by Israel and is still. What's worse is that Palestine is practically treated by Arab countries as that "friend nobody likes" because they never bother helping.

Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia is basically the government version of ISIS.